Friday, March 6, 2015

How to Deal With a Terrible Dad

The world we live in is not like those shows we watch on TV. Some Dads are really difficult to handle, abusive or horrible to be with. If you are unlucky and you got stuck with a terrible Dad, these steps might just help you understand and deal with it better...details after the cut
Accept that we don't choose our parents. If your Dad is abusive or not there for you in the way you need him to be-it can be very painful but it is not your fault. If anyone else had been in your place, he would have behaved the same. His behaviour is not a reflection of who you are - it has nothing to do with you. Understanding this fact is very important!

Release any guilt you feel by acknowledging that your Dad is not a good parent role model for you. There are many ways your father can be harmful to you. Is he physically abusive to you or your mother? Does he call you or other family members names, belittle and curse at them? Is he gone all the time and distant when he is home? Does he not have any time for you? Is he a alcoholic or an addict? Is he too strict or and just plain mean?

Understand it is not your problem other than you are forced to live and deal with him. If your Dad is an unhappy or weak person that does not make you the "cause" of it. You did not drive him to this behavior. He has created his own life and his own relationships with people. He might have been happy at one time but he is not now. This fact you can not change for him, no matter how much you might want to.

Avoid big, dramatic blow ups with him. It will get you nowhere if anything only make things worse. Your life just has to go on without him. You don't need to prove yourself or try to win approval from him. It will make you feel horrible and empty inside. Focus on the good relationships you do have with other people. Surround yourself with people who care about you and your feelings. Don't have anyone? Reach out and become friends with kind people. The world is filled with nice people who want good friends and care about others.

Work hard at pleasing yourself in life. If you want money then work hard at your grades and stay in school. If you are already working than begin to save your money to become more independent.

Look around you......are there other good men out there who can become a father figure to you? Even a woman who you trust could take over this important role in your life. Older men in their seventies and eighties can be lonesome and looking for someone to talk with. They might enjoy telling you stories of their lives or give you good advice.

Stay strong. Embrace your values and morals. Strive to be a good man or woman despite being dealt with an unhappy father.

Tell him. Tell your dad what's making you feel uncomfortable because of him. There will be a fair chance that he might change and try to make you feel happier. If your dad is not that kind of person, act a way that makes him feel that something isn't right about his own kid and he might think about changing a bad attitude or habit.

No comments: